Everything is going to be ok
by pinacchi
Summary: Eren is a good actor when it comes to his feelings. That's why everyone is going to belive him when he smiles and laughts. They didn't know that he was a broken human being. Even his boyfriend didn't noticed it. But as he noticed it was almost to late.
1. Prolog

Everything is going to be ok…(Prolog)

He stared down in the mass of people from the roof of a twelve story house. Stared at them how they went in all directions on the hard sidewalk.

Eren was the one who stands on the roof of the twelve story house. And though about how it would feel, when he would hit the sidewalk in a couple of minutes. If it would be fast and painless or if it would be slow and painful. But the truth was that it didn't matter anymore, the only thing he wanted was to end his poor life.

Yes Eren Jaeger, someone who was envied because of his looks, grades and his friends, who would do anything for him, was about to kill himself. Everyone would surprise if they knew that Eren Jaeger was just a broken human being. Since he always laughs and smiles. But after everything what happed to him it was no wonder.

What made it worse was the break up from his loved boyfriend Levi. After the break up everything got darker around him and broke him more.

Now he standing on the roof and starred down to the hard sideway. It was just a step. A step before his never ending sleep. Something he welcomed with open arms. And now he was about to do the step but before he could fall to into his never ending sleep, he heard his name was shouted by someone who he knows very well, and was pulled down into the arms by that person.

Eren wanted to shout, to fight against the person who held him firm in his hold. But he couldn't as he saw who it was.


	2. Chapter 1: Erens past

Everything is going to be ok.. Chapter 1 – Erens past

The world is not a nice place. She is cruel and Eren had to learn that very early in his life. The first time was as he was ten years old. As he was ten his father, a famous doctor, was murdered on the way home in a park. He was murdered with 29 stabs with a knife. The murder was captured very fast but the damage was done.

After his dad died his mother, Carla, began to ignore him. And it was worse as she met her new lover. A half year later we moved in with him. John, the lover of Erens mum, was a very nice man. He was a little too nice. But he didn't do anything until Eren was thirteen years old.

As Eren was thirteen years old Carla and John married. So he was now Eren step-father. Short after they married he began to touch Eren for the very fist time. It was at night. Eren was almost asleep as he came into Erens room and lay beside him and began to touch him on places were no parent or other people should touch him. As Eren noticed what his step-father doing to him he woke up and wanted to shout at him. But by the time he woke up his step-father was out of the room and closed the door. All Eren could see was a creepy smile from him.

On the next day Eren tried to tell his other about it but she just said angrily: "Just because you don't like him you don't have to tell lies." And so naïve how Eren was in the age of thirteen he thought that his mother would believe and help him.

After that his step-father began to touch him every time the both were more than five minutes alone. On the ass when Eren went past him, on his cock when he sat down on the sofa, every fucking time. So began everything. The life began to be hell.

On Erens fourteens birthday it was the first time that he done more than just touch. Eren would never forget what he felt at that time. Ashamed, despair, helpless Eren felt as his wrists were bound on the headboard of his bed and his step-father trusted inside him. He would never forget how he screamed and begged that he would stop. But he didn't stop.

Almost one year he raped Eren until his mother found out. But her reaction was different as what Eren wished. Eren was fifteen now. And instead of helping Eren she shouted at him. That he was a worthless piece of shit and that she hated how Eren had all the attention of her husband. Attention the Eren didn't want at all.

At the age of fifteen Eren had lost all of his friends. They all left him because they said that he acted weird and since he didn't say anything at all. How he couldn't act weird when his mother who was so a loving mother whom every child wanted turned into a monster that let her new husband rape his child. She even got so jealously that she began to hit me almost every time she saw me. Home was a living hell.

As Eren was sixteen he was under so much stress that he began to cut himself. He found a razorblade inside the bathroom and thought that he just should try that. His step-father never notices his cuts or he didn't want to notice them. At this time Eren didn't fight him anymore. What should he do? He was just a High school schooler and his step-father was a high ranked police detective. He was strong and Eren weak.

With seventeen Erens arms were full of scars. But not as many that he could say that they happed through an accident. As Eren was seventeen his stress level was higher than before. So he searched for an other and found something that was now normal in his life. Sex. He began to sleep with strangers and sometimes even for money. The money was for Erens good service. He didn't mind it that someone would call him whore or dirty slut. And he liked the money. It's not like its something new that some dick was down his ass.

In the age of eighteen Eren was done with High school. He graduated as one of the fifth best. He earned a scholarship on a Collage in Sina. This was good because Sina was far away from here. So that his step-father couldn't visit him very easily.

This was something that didn't amuse him. But Erens mother was very happy about it. Of course, now she had her husband all for herself. She helped Eren even with his things that he needed and to pack all his things. She even bought him to the train station. But Eren thought that she just want to make sure that he's gone.

That day was something that Eren would never forget ether. Because for the first time after eight fucking years in hell he could breath freely. He felt light like he could fly. But in his mind there would ever been the darkness in there he lived for eight years. And she could come out every time and every where. She is just sleeping.

Yeah, the world is a cruel place where everyone and everything could be dangerous. That's the same as with trust. Eren think he could never ever trust again after the betrayal of his mother and the death of his father. That was Eren thinks and believe because if you trust you are attackable and Eren didn't want to be attackable.

Eren wished that the collage life would be better as his last eight years. That's what he wished and thought. Yes he thought.

**A/N:**

**Here is an unusual fast update….thank you for reading… **

**You can visit me on tumblr if you like .. pinacchi . tumblr. com**

**-pinacchi 3**


	3. Fist year in collage part 1

Everything is going to be ok chapter 2 – Erens first Year in Collage part 1

One month before collage started Eren moved in his new apartment in Sina. Which he rent from the money, he got from the bastard who calls himself Erens step-father. Eren knew that a lot of people would call him crazy that he rent an apartment from the money he got from the man who raped him for eight years. His step-father wanted that he rent one. Eren knew exactly why he wanted it. Just that he could do whatever he wanted with Eren. And since Eren doesn't want to live in a collage dorm, so he just rent one.

Eren wanted to have a place, where he could live in peace. A place he felt safe. A place where he could be the one he wanted to be. He wanted to create his own safety world. And he found a good apartment with a bedroom, living room, kitchen, bathroom and a small storeroom. The apartment had a good location; it was just a fifteen minutes walk to collage and a ten minutes walk to his new job. Eren found this new job short after he moved. Not that he needed it since his step-father would pay everything. But he didn't want that this bastard pays everything for him he had to work.

His workplace was a small café which was owned by a nice older woman. Eren loved that place in that moment he walked inside. Because when you walk in it was a cosy and warm feeling that you got. It was like you would come home. Not Erens home of course.

Today was Erens first day at work and the owner, Mrs. Anderson, showed him all the things he need to know. At first Mrs. Anderson introduce Eren to one of his new co-workers. It was a woman just one or two years older than him. She had reddish brown hair which was bound up in a messy ponytail and her brown eyes were hiding behind glasses.

"This is Eren; he will work here from now on." Mrs. Anderson said to his co-worker with a smile. "Hi I'm Eren Jaeger; it's nice to meet you." He said to her and tried to show her a friendly smile.

She gave him a wide smile back. Before Eren could blink she was standing in front of him and grabbed his hand and began to shake it furiously. "Hey, I'm Hanji Zoe and I love science. Do you love science? Maybe we could do some research together?" Mrs. Anderson had to laugh as she saw the face Eren made. "Hanji let the boy breath." She said. "Oh I'm sorry. I'm just so exited to meet other people. Are you going to the collage here in Sina?" She asked with a curious look on her face.

Eren nodded. "Yes, I'm have art as my major." He said with a smile on his face. Art was something Eren loved from the bottom of his heart. Because art was something he could get lost in. It was something was what lighted the darkness he was in the past eight years. It was the one thing that distracted Eren from his family problems besides hurting himself and gets fucked by other people.

"Mhmm….so you don't like science." Hanji said with a disappointed look. But it lighted very fast. "But art is fine as well." Eren just singed. _"I never said that I don't like science."_ He thought. "Hanji, I going to show Eren around a little bit more." Mrs. Anderson said. Hanji nodded. "See you later Eren." She said with an enthusiastic laugh.

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.

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Eren first day at work was over. Nothing really happed in that time. Mrs. Anderson showed him just around and explained things to him. He could even leave earlier than the normal time to close. The next time he has to work would be with Hanji.

Hanji. The first impression he has from her was that she is scary. Not in the bad 'you –will-hurt-me' way, more like the 'I'm-a-crazy-bitch' way. Eren liked her somehow.

Eren was on the way to buy a new can opener. Yesterday he wanted to eat some Ravioli be he couldn't open the can since he had obviously not a can opener. Eren noticed very fast that now that he has his own apartment a lot of things are missing. The most are small things like a con opener or a toilet brush for example.

In the store he found very fast what he needs and paid it. On the way back home he found art shop and of course he couldn't resist going in. You could say that Eren in this shop found his art heaven. Almost two hours later he was out of the shop with two large bags full of new things he needed for his paintings and drawings.

When he was at the front door of his apartment building, something or rather someone crashed into Eren and he fell with full force on the ground. And the things inside his bags were all over the ground as well. "What the hell." Eren shouted angry. He looked at the person who crashed into him. It was a small male with blond hair and blue eyes. Eren would say that the blond boy was around his age even though that he was smaller than Eren.

"I-I'm really sorry." The blond boy said immediately and began to put the things back in the bags. "It's ok. But be more carful where you going, ok." Eren said and the blond nodded. The bags were packed again and Eren was about to go inside the apartment but then the blond boy spoke: "Are you living here?" He asks. And Eren gave him a look that screams 'Who-want-to-know-that'. "It's just that I never saw you here before. I'm living here as well my name is Armin. Armin Arlert." Armin said with a wide smile. Eren just starred at him for a moment. "Yeah, I just moved in here. My name is Eren Jaeger."

"Are you a collage student?" Armin asks. Eren nodded and Armin beamed. "Cool, I'm a collage student here as well. I'm a Psychology major. What are you majoring at?" Armin asked interested. Eren was about to answer but Armin interrupted him. "Let me guess you are an art major." Eren nodded again. "I have to go now; it was nice to speak with you. Maybe we could hang out sometime." Armin said fast as he looked at his watch. "Yeah we can do."

Armin was running again. He waved Eren and Eren waved back to say bye. And Eren turned around and went inside.

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Eren saw Armin faster than he thought again. It was in a café (not Erens workplace). They talked a little bit. In the end Armin invited him to a small party in his apartment. And Erne thought why not. So he said that he would come. Meeting new people wouldn't hurt, right? Armin gave him his apartment number so Eren could find him.

Two days later Eren found himself in front of the door with the number 401. He knocked against it and one minute later Armin stand in front of him with a wide smile on his face.

**TBC **

**A/N:**

Sorry that it took soo fucking long. But I was really sick last week and then I had to work. Or in short my real life sucks in the moment.

Thank you for reading, comments follows etc…

-pinacchi 3


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